It was bound to happen. I mean really, he is almost 17, so it is surprising it took this long. Still, I was not prepared in the least.
A girlfriend has entered the picture. The jury is out on whether I like her or not. Doesn't matter really, my opinion is rather moot.
I have lost my son. Whether this lasts a month or a year, I have lost him. I am no longer the most important woman in his life. Of course it would be rather concerning if this had never happened.
I feel very old today and I feel like I lost a piece of my motherhood innocence.
Tuesday, Nice weekend!
2 days ago
9 comments:
Oh Jolie, I can imagine how you are feeling. I have several years to go before experiencing the same thing, but J and I were talking one day a few weeks ago and he asked me "when can I call you Mom instead of Mommy?" - my answer: "When your girlfriend is visiting!". It will be a sad day indeed when my "little boy" stops calling me Mommy, and has a cute little lady on his arm instead of me. :(
~ Makky's Mom
I still have a ways to go with this, but I am really not looking forward to it. Hopefully it gets easier.
Oh, Jolie, he'll remain your baby forever...
My son is the "baby" of the family, and I, too, am feeling the pain of losing him. Starting high school has changed him, made him seem older to me. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but he's looking...I can tell.
I FEEL your pain!! :)!
A mothers opinion is never "moot"! ;) And I think mothers always come first... But I may be wearing rose colored glasses... lol!
Sigh.....I don't have a son but the day my daughter stopped holding my hand I died a little inside. It took months before I was able to stop the automatic gesture of reaching out for her hand.
We all mourn for the loss of innocence in our children. I could barely stand to think about what my daughter might be doing with her boyfriend but it has gotten easier (it took years mind you!)
Like most parents I still sneak into her bedroom when she's sleeping and look upon her sweet face - I can still imagine her as my chubby little three year old as I gently kiss her large Polish cheeks:)
I just made myself tear up!
You are not losing your son, but by fearing so, you increase its likeliness. Your son needs you now more than ever. Your 'baby' is growing and therefore so must your relationship with him. Just because he will no longer be your baby, does not mean your relationship with him will diminish in importance - just the opposite. Continue to be the loving, caring mother you already are, but don't treat your adolescent son as your baby. By encouraging and being supportive of your son's growth, you can show him: how to be a gentleman, act with respect and dignity, be respectful to women, be a person of character, and seek out a suitable partner. Teenagers cannot understand the challenges that life presents since they have not made it there yet. Therefore being a teenager/high school is the toughest thing they have ever done. It is a confusing, and overwhelming time in your son's life, he resents being babied (If not already, he will). In his mind, he is trying to find himself and figure out what type of man he is going to be. Your son needs you, not to baby him, but to teach him how to be the man you know he can be.
Just my 2 cents,
a male high school football coach
thanks for the comments everyone. It's part of the growing up phase for him, and for me.
Coach - I am working hard to take your comments in the helpful way I am sure you intended them. It's absolutely normal to have the feelings I am having right now. I also understand if I never move past them, THEN there is a big problem. I know that won't be happening. He and I have a good relationship. I have taught teenagers for 15 years now and have had most of my best success stories with the males, to be honest, as they move from boys to young men. You are incorrect in your assumption that he is babied. He works. He manages his coursework at school with an honour roll average with no extra help from his teacher mother. He went off on his own to Quebec twice without mother in tow. He is the leader for his hockey team. He's growing into a fine young man. My being sad about a part of our relationship changing now is no different than how it was when they left the babysitter to start school full time, or moved on to high school, or he pulled away for the first time with his driver's license. Just part of the continuum of life. thank you for the food for thought.
Hehe I have no kids but I can understand your perspective. I hope she turns out to be a good girl for him. Have you met her yet?
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