What I am reading

Piggy backing off my last book on Consuela Vanderbilt, I headed to my library for the first time in well over a year.

A quick search found this book for me, about her mother, Alva Smith.  I was surprised at how much the tone of the first book made me going into this one with preconceived notions about her mother.

I definitely enjoyed this one as well and it gave me more insight into this particular time period in New York history.

Any suggestions on others??

I read ( I know!!!)

A couple weeks ago when I was in the city I went to a bookstore. I find such peace there. Such comfort.

And I bought a book. I am very much quick to choose or discard. I had wandered for about 20 minutes and found this as it caught my eye.

what's even better is, this weekend  at dad's I had downtime AND enough brain energy to read it. 

It's about Consuelo Vanderbilt Marlborough. I confess to knowing very little about the Vanderbilts beyond 'famous name' and was pleased at how much I enjoyed the book.

The love of reading was very much inspired by my mom and I haven't really read since she got sick. I hope this is a sign of a positive change in my world. It's a book mom would have loved too.

What's more, I went to the library and found another fiction book about this family and started it.

What a joy to be able to read again.

Catching up - My health

I have to say that since I started a new oral pill last September, things have been much better colitis-wise in my world. I am still hyper vigilant about what could happen when I am out and about but I have actually been able to go eat at a couple restaurants without having to drive home in a mad dash to get to the bathroom.

I hope this trend continues. It would be so nice to live a more normal life and not have the burden of this disease the major factor in all my trips outside of the house.

The time spent with dad however uses up all my free time. I am feeling overwhelmed and like I don't have a life of my own anymore. I try to frame it as positive as I can but it  isn't easy.

I am behind  at school because I can't be there after schools or weekends to get caught up or, gasp, plan ahead.

It uses up all my brain energy so that when I get home from dad's I am often in a zombie state, without the ability to make big decisions, or organize, or remember where I put things.

My second mammogram shows the abnormalities are still there but haven't changed in size or shape. They don't feel it is something to be concerned about but I still think I should get a biopsy. Maybe paranoid, but I don't want to be surprised and find out that it is too late.

My filling in January broke in mid Feb. I had it refilled and it broke again a few days later.

I ended up having to go get the tooth pulled. I felt instantly old, with this weird gap on my lower jaw. A bridge or a crown were not viable possibilities. Add to that the tooth was a hot mess and roots were crooked and I had to pay $700 for sedation and it was NOT covered by any health plan. Boo!!

Catching up - dad

For the winter of 2017-18 when mom was so sick all we kept saying to her was 'Hang on...soon the leaves will come" We were hoping she would hold out until spring and she did.

Since then I can't even count the number of times he has been in the hospital. With a badly functioning heart and kidney system, its super hard to keep a fine balance with his fluid system and when it is out of whack, it's more than we can control at home.

Dad spent the week before, and Easter weekend in the hospital. Gone were our plans for Easter dinner at the house. Sister 2 and I took shifts and came and went from the hospital several times a day each so he had company.

He made it home and had a few good days. We even did a trip into the city to a big green house to but plants for the garden last weekend.

Friday he ended up in ER again. Major flu which again causes the fluid system in his body to be out of whack.  DS1 ended up taking him and got to experience the joy of long waiting time in the waiting room and then even longer through the series of tests they had to do. We got him properly hydrated and the tests came back saying there were no bacterial infections (which they feared) so home we went.

I spent the weekend there with him. Definitely not how I hoped to spend my long weekend but with sister 2 in planting season and Sister 1 and 3 struggling deeply with health issues, it fell to me.

He feels so bad that we are giving up all our time but he was too weak and wobbly to be on his own. So we make the best of it.

I hope for more good days now that we have made it to the leaves. On the 25th is the 1 year anniversary of mom's passing so it's going to be tough.

Catching up .... DS1 is home

The Thursday before Easter was greatly anticipated.

 One because we had a week off school and the break was oh so welcome.

Two because the weather was so lovely. Snow gone and I could go walking

Three because DS1 was coming home from France.

He had an amazing year of experiences culminating with their team making out of the bottom third to take the National Championship. His girlfriend had come home a month earlier to get ready for a summer of weddings so he was on his own. He isn't sure if he will go back there. He' s looking for something in North America to be closer to home. The girlfriend has a full time job as a legal secretary and is making good money. It was tough for DS to be so far away when so many tough family moments have happened. So we will contact his agent to see what is available in North America.

He was excited to see family and be home but between you and me I think he was most excited to meet his new cat. We didn't get back from the airport until 10:30 and he spent four hours playing with him.

It was so lovely to have all my kids' heartbeats under my roof.

Where the money stands

as of May 1st

Debt

Mortgage - $5 227.37

College LOC - $11 699

Total Debt - $16 926.37

Planned Savings

TFSA - $9350

RRSP - $14 262

TFSA 2019 - $100

Plates 2019 - $100 (used for jeep plates)

Back to School - $400
RRSP 2019 - $1500

Summer 2019 - $100

Christmas 2019 - $0