Thank you to those who left messages here and emailed.
I definitely slid into a funk and went awol from all parts of my life.
Part of it was medical. The colitis. An injury to my shoulder that kept me off work.
Part of it was mental. Just sad to my core. Hopeless. trapped. nothing to look forward to . Ever.
Part of it was work: So helpless when I have kids in trouble at school with parents who are not supportive, or who make the situation worse...kids with mental illnesses and no help. Kids in abusive dynamics and even social services can't get in to help.
Part of it was monetary. DS's (my) vehicle's tires were about to split. $1000. Package policy for (insurance) for 3 vehicles - $980. DS1 needed his next round of rent and living money. It just kept flooding in. Even though I known DS2 is close to finishing and will hopefully be finding a job in his field...even though I know DS1 has only 1 year left...it was just burnout.
So I did what any logical person would do (note the sarcasm).... I went a bit deeper in debt. DS1's team made it to college version of the Stanley Cup. and so I went. I got to see a major US city. new landmarks. New restaurants. I got to be like all the other moms on the team and follow their kid to an event. I got to watch my son play in front of 20,000 ppl... a half million on TV. It was amazing.
and rejuvenating.
So now, with Easter break upon us, I feel a bit rejuvenated, a bit more hopeful. The debt damage I did wasn't insurmountable. time to sip some coffee, and come up with a slow but steady process to keep making progress, but not get back in that trapped, no life, no fun vortex.
Thank you again all.
