The 'Poor me' Blues

Reader's warning: The following contents are filled with absolute poor me, self pity, venting, petty jealousy and basic whining. Please be advised :=)

• we've been at -25 C and colder since the second week of December (-42 today and the van won't start so calling CAA)
• After three weeks I've fallen off WW and can't seem to shovel food in fast enough
• Despite my Emergency Fund, CC payoff and finishing B of Mom loan, I am losing interest/momentum in my 'budget' even though I know it works. The past 2 weeks I've spent a crapload (from my jars) on groceries and dining out, most of it ridiculous purchases.
• On a staff of 22, three are currently in Hawaii (separately) and since Sept 08, a total of 14 of them have been away on big trips, most often out of the country to places where the sun lives.
• My son didn't make a team everyone expected him to make and I work through the futility of politics
• I can't seem to impress upon my children that the magic fairies don't clean up after them and they need...nay MUST start taking responsibility seriously
• I have serious "everyone else has a big/new/nice ______________why don't I?" envy.
• I have *whispers* spent off my debit the past two weeks and not exclusively my jars.
• I am so far behind in my work and report cards are looming, looming, looming
• I want a normal sized body @#$@#$@#

ok, it is my hope that venting will make me see how silly most of this poor me itis is, and perhaps I can move on and deal with life in a more positive way.

Thanks for listening

We now return you to your regularly programmed blog reading.

Bank of Mom done done done!!

I think.................and I could be wrong............but I THINK that paying this off, makes me a grownup!!!! *bounces excitedly and snaps her bubblegum*

Last year about this time, I redid my bathroom (totally) and my living room (floor). It was a long awaited VERY necessary upgrade.

Mom and dad were kind enough to pick up some of the bathroom fixtures and the flooring in a nearby city for me as ... well...I never get away. The bills totalled $1500 and starting last fall, but more aggressively in December onwards, I have saved up the money and can take her the envelope tonight marked PAID IN FULL.

I'm really excited as this is the first time I've ever fully paid her back for something.

I'm so happy I finally got this done.
Yeah me!

My Love Affair with Credit Cards

Circa 1991. I was young. Just newly married. Finished a 3 year degree at University and taking classes back at home and working casual.

Time for me to get a credit history of my own. Until this point, I had only a bank account and a debit card. No cheques. No loans. No credit cards.

My name was added to my husband's account, creating a joint chequing account which I could use, but contributed nothing to, so I did not.

I opened up my own chequing account as well at the same place I had my regular account.

Next, it was time to get a credit card. I applied for a Mastercard with the bank I had been with since I was 10. I had received the offers while at University to get a credit card then but having zero income...well, I didn't bite. Mastercard turned me down. No history...not worth the risk. I called and after explaining my situation, they said 'ok but you will only get a $100 limit.' pffft, hardly worth the hassle. I declined.

Moving on, I managed to get my name on my husband's VISA but still no rating of my own as it was HIS account. I headed next to the department stores. Zellers, Sears, and Canadian Tire were all too happy to get my business and gave me cards for about $500 each.

A month later, with none of the department store cards having even been used, I applied again to Mastercard. Astonishingly, they were only too have to give me a card with a $500 limit.

The night I got it, I headed to a drugstore and wandered the aisles, excited to just buy whatever I liked on pretty soaps, lotions, make up etc. I think the damage was about $100. I can't begin to explain the rush I got from that outing. Did I have $$ to pay it back??? No. Did that even cross my mind??? Not even for a moment.

In retrospect, it was scary!!! and should have been a warning to me but I really truly had no clue.

Over the years, the credit limit has grown. My husband's VISA was at scary amounts and he could barely pay minimum on it. His financial skills were non existant. At one point, he received a $ gift from his father and paid off his Visa. I got my name off it toute suite and opened my own with zero difficulty.

Now I am certainly cannot claim to be a financial credit card whiz and over the past 10 years my balance has been high. I would dutifully pay the minimum, sometimes more, and more than once, miss a payment altogether. bad jolie!!

It isnt' that I buy huge expensive things on it. I have mostly plain furniture, no fancy jewels, no designer clothes or even high end clothes. It is just little things that got put on it, adding up slowly and slowly.

Over the past 5 years, I have probably 'paid off' my balance and been at zero about a dozen times. Have I learned? no clue. I am only at two months of zero balance so the night is young LOL

I hope I have learned. I hope I am better. I hope I see the light.

Thank god I am not addicted to fancy purses, or art, clothes or jewelery. I'd be so screwed!!

Laptop cord .......... AGAIN

Man I just had to get a new one in September....I checked my blog history LOL

The wires just before the nib going into the laptop bend and break but twice in 6 months seems odd.

That was a $75 unexpected touch. Again. Now I have to rework my budget and see where THAT money is coming from.

I will have to get a new laptop in September when I can get 0% interest on employee plan. They then take xx dollars off per cheque. That is what I did with my new desktop I got in the fall and I am done paying for that come June.

Darn unexpecteds!!!!!

Groceries

My husband has started to notice we don't have as much 'stuff' in the cupboards and fridge as we used to and complains about it. I end up buying 95% of the groceries in our separate accounts lives.

I said 'look we were spending last year about $1400 a month on food including eating out/take out and I just can't do that anymore. Now I am spending XX on food per week and it doesn't go as far'.

To be fair, when you're not the one buying it WOULD be hard to see where it goes....so after my expedition today to Walmart, I have the bill on the fridge for him to see.

Today's run:
catfood - $18.58
3 gallons (12 L ) of milk - $10.77
Tostitos and salsa - $5.92
Rice - $6.37
Macaroni - $2.17
Spaghetti - $3.74
Kernel corn - $2.74
2 lean cuisine - $6.74
ketchup - $4.82
Oxo x 3 - $9.51
Fiber 1 bars -$3.47
Wheat Thins - $2.68
canned soup - $6.27
Tax - $2.96

total - $98.93

and that is no veggies, no fruits, and no meat.

sadness.

no wonder $$ goes so fast.

My next goal

I have thought a lot about where I want to go next with this journey of mine.

I want more of an EF. I want to pay off my consolidation loan. I want to save up for a new vehicle down payment. It would be great to pay down the mortgage. I'd love to finally start rrsps. Etc etc etc

What I have decided is that tackling all of them would be insanely slow for me and I'd probably give up and that is definitely not what I want.

My next goal is to max out the $1000 Christmas fund. It will be nice to have that taken care of well in advance and then I can move on. Contributing only $100 a month is great, but it would take until October to do that.

So starting Feb 25th, my snowball of $500 and any flakes I find will head to the Christmas Fund. Barring unforseen events, it will be paid off with 2/3 of the March 25th snowball. Then I will figure out where I want to go next.

So that is the tentative plan. I never dreamed in December when I set out my goals for 2009, that I'd be in a position to get the Mastercard and BoM done so soon.

Closer to the end of Bank of Mom

At the start of this work month, I was only $100 away from fully paying off the Bank of Mom loan. It's exciting to be so close, but really, not so hard once I had a plan and worked at it. Duh, took me long enough.

I have snowflaked $20 from recycling bottles, $40 from a cash calender ticket I bought for a friend's daughter in November and $25 from a bit left over from My cell phone and landline bills.

That puts me a lovely $15 away from finishing it off so this is totally do-able before next payday on the 25th.

Time to start getting a new plan for what I will save for/pay off next.

~~~happy dance~~~

The bottom half of the tank

For me, it seems as though the top half of my gas tank is bigger than the bottom. It takes awhile to get to half, then as soon as it's there, it seems like WHOOSH the gas goes down faster than lightning.

It feels the same for my bank account. Getting paid once a month, payday is like a full tank. I have money to take out for my jars for the first two weeks, I have money for my loan, utilities, bills etc. That's all pretty much done in the first four days after payday. Then my account is virtually inactive until Week 3 of jars begins. I hit the bank tonight and took out the money for it and it always makes me panic to see what is left. One week of jar money and about a $25 float. Now given how I do things, technically I should not NEED any more money (barring unforseen surprises), but just seeing that tiny amount there makes me panic. I have to laugh at this because would it have been much different when I was just spending money willynilly with my debit, I'd owe money on my Credit Card and before payday hit, there is not much left at all.

It's interesting the psychological effects this has. I get this urge to stockpile anything I have, just in case. Same way my fat cells do I guess; just in case I might need them, they stockpile in me LOL

Just 'food' for thought :-)

Grocery money just a flyin'

I can definitely tell a difference between January and February in terms of money in the Grocery Jar. The money this month is just flying out of it and yet the fridge, pantry and freezer can't seem to keep food in it.

We ate at mom's probably a dozen meals in total from Christmas to end of January payday, for holidays and birthday celebrations. I wondered how big a difference I would see this month and I sure can!

My grocery money is the one jar I snowball to debt so I am holding on to it tightly hoping that I can have some extra to get that Bank of Mom loan all done.

Time to sit down, inventory and plan out some meals. Something I've needed to do for a longggg time.

If there is $ leftover....where does it go?

I know some of you budget with envelopes...some with jars...others do cash only without specific categories while others handle things solely online. Whatever works for you.

My question is......at the end of the month, if you have money left over in general, or in a specific category, what do you do with it?

Do you...
a) set it aside for that budget line as extra for next month?
b) put it in a savings account?
c) snowball it towards debt?
d) emergency fund?
e) other?

I'm mostly just curious. Still developing my system and I am sure I will need at least 6 months to see if what I've decided to do is still feasible.

Living the Life

I'm taking a leaf from SavingforLater's blog and doing a little personal inventory. I rarely do these sorts of things but this one seemed fun. Those I've done are bolded. Since I have copied, it's only fair if you do too, if you're interested.

• Started your own blog
• Slept under the stars
• Played in a band
• Visited Hawaii
• Watched a meteor shower
• Given more than you can afford to charity
• Been to Disneyland
• Climbed a mountain
• Held a praying mantis
• Sang a solo
• Bungee jumped
• Visited Paris
• Watched a lightning storm at sea
• Taught yourself an art from scratch
• Adopted a child
• Had food poisoning
• Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
• Grown your own vegetables
• Seen the Mona Lisa in France
• Slept on an overnight train
• Had a pillow fight
• Hitch hiked
• Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
• Built a snow fort
• Held a lamb
• Gone skinny dipping
• Run a Marathon
• Ridden in a gondola in Venice
• Seen a total eclipse
• Watched a sunrise or sunset
• Hit a home run
• Been on a cruise
• Seen Niagara Falls in person
• Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
• Seen an Amish community
• Taught yourself a new language
• Had enough money to be truly satisfied
• Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
• Gone rock climbing
• Seen Michelangelo's David
• Sung karoke
• Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
• Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
• Visited Africa
• Walked on a beach by moonlight
• Been transported in an ambulance
• Had your portrait painted
• Gone deep sea fishing
• Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
• Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
• Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
• Kissed in the rain
• Played in the mud
• Gone to a drive-in theater
• Been in a movie
• Visited the Great Wall of China
• Started a business
• Taken a martial arts class
• Visited Russia
• Served at a soup kitchen
• Sold Girl Scout cookies
• Gone whale watching.
• Got flowers for no reason
• Donated blood, platelets or plasma
• Gone sky diving
• Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
• Bounced a check
• Flown in a helicopter
• Saved a favorite childhood toy.
• Visited the Lincoln Memorial
• Eaten Caviar
• Pieced a quilt
• Stood in Times Square
• Toured the Everglades
• Been fired from a job
• Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
• Broken a bone
• Been on a speeding motorcycle.
• Seen the Grand Canyon in person
• Published a book
• Visited the Vatican
• Bought a brand new car
• Walked in Jerusalem
• Had your picture in the newspaper
• Read the entire Bible
• Visited the White House
• Killed and prepared an animal for eating
• Had chickenpox
• Saved someone’s life
• Sat on a jury
• Met someone famous
• Joined a book club
• Lost a loved one
• Had a baby
• Seen the Alamo in person
• Swam in the Great Salt Lake
• Been involved in a lawsuit
• Owned a cellphone
• Been stung by a bee
• Read an entire book in one day

That's 31 for me

Kids and Cell phones

Just tossing out a 'hmm what do you think' to folks out there who 've experience with this. My boys are 14 and 11. We live in a dual community of about 17,000 ppl with a bridge between. There is no public transportation here. The older goes to a High School and the younger goes to an elementary school. They are about 6-8 blocks from the school I work at. Our home is on the other side of the river.

My boys are involved in a few different activities and our schedules are different every single day. At Christmas, I finally relented and got my son a cell phone so he could phone for emergencies. Well technically I gave him MY cell phone and I got a new zero dollar 3 year contract phone. He was literally THE LAST of his group to have one, by almost a year. My younger is one of about 4 kids in his class without one.

We probably are mid middle class with a few of their friends a bit lower on the financial scale, but most of them higher. Most of the students in my class have them as well and they are the same age as my older.

I relented because one too many times he'd been stranded...practice done early and ppl left before we got there...missed bus etc.

His contract is 'about' $40 a month including unlimited text and he shares 300 min of talk each month with me.

Almost none of his friends, or my students have $ responsibility for part or all of their phone. I have him pay $20 a month, which is challenging itself as he does not have a 'job' but we make it work. I think it's important he understand that things like that cost $ and have a play in the finances.

He's responsible and doesn't have it on in class (they get taken away) and doesn't text instead of socializing. (so far so good)

Of course, everyone's situation is different in terms of where you live, how old your kids are, your budget line, your activities etc.

So what are your thoughts on this matter?
Do they get one? why/why not?
Do they pay part? all? none?

curious

Where the debt stands

As of February 1st, 2009

Mortgage - $43 800.64
Consolidated Loan - $12 473.43
Bank of Mom - $100.00
My Mastercard - $0 - wheeeeeee
His VISA - Paid in Full thanks to windfall
His Truck Payment - Paid in full thanks to windfall

Total Debt - $56,374.07

** I will remove his VISA and Truck Payment after this update**