(a bit of a 'woe is me'. I try not to very often :-)
We were going through things yesterday for the garage sale (which begins today). Among them were three giant boxes that have been in my mom's basement in storage.............since 1992. Yup a long time ago. In 1992 we lived in a wee house and had been married a year. I was heading back for my final year of university to get my teaching degree. My husband agreed to move in with my parents so we could afford my rent and tuition in the city for that final year.
Packed away in those three boxes was my wedding china. I hadn't registered for china when we were getting married. 'china' just seemed to be so far away from the kinid of life we were living then. But two of my aunt's got together and gave us a starter set for a very simple set. Bone white with a simple gold trim. It was by no means an expensive kind, but it wasn't dollar store dinnerware either.
Whatever it was about the dishes, it sparked this vision for my future life...a life not unlike what most people have. A 3 bedroom bungalow. Good sized kitchen. dining room. Holiday meals hosted.
Well after university I wasn't able to find a teaching job that first year. They were scarce then and I applied allll over. After the first summer, I told mom we needed to move out as I was unexpectedly expecting.
We moved to a tiny place, which in turn was followed by the tiny house we live in now. With a kitchen that doesn't really sit four without hassles. No dining room. No deck.
No family dinners. some youthful. just married dreams, shattered.
The boys and I unpacked it. I stared at it a long while. And I knew that the youthful, just married dreams were over.
My kids are both in High School and I don't see anything growing on my money tree outside, nor do I envision a money fairy bestowing anything on us to buy a larger house where things will be different.
When the boys marry, their wives will pick out their own pattern and style so there isn't anyone to pass this stuff down to.
I went down by the pond water feature thingie at mom's and cried for awhile, then went back up and inventoried it and priced it for sale.
I am not a craigslist or ebayer so that isn't an option for me.
And so another day begins.
6 comments:
Learning from your experiences and helping your children achieve their dreams would still be a great way to keep your dreams alive.
Aww... ((hugs)) I would have held onto it! You really never know, one of your future daughter in laws could totally cherish that old china far more than any other china pattern! I know I loved & miss my MIL SO MUCH, I'd have loved to have something like that from her!
I am so sorry! It always amazes me how our past dreams get shattered and not fulfilled from the here and now. Our expectations of ourselves and others are wrapped in those dreams and when we do not become the person we thought, it is very sad.
My love goes out to you because I know exactly how you feel. Not much makes it better.
Please think forward though. The new dreams will manifest and come to pass, some will fail and others explode into something you never imagined.
I am super proud of you for letting this past go. Get some paper plates and revel how comfortable it is to eat on the couch! :)
Jolie, why don't you keep it and start using it every day? That's what I intend on doing in the next year or two, using my grandmothers china every day, instead of it sitting in the china cabinet.
I don,t even go there now with the dreams, I lost my Wedding China in a fire which engulfed our home about 28 years ago, as well as my china I lost all of my family photos, all of my Wedding photos and my Goldfish. But myself my Husband and our 2 children escaped with our lifes, believe me the Wedding China was far down my list of priorities, get rid of yours and start creating some new dreams.
Thanks everyone for your comments and kind thoughts. I appreciate them. Everyday use isn't really an option as that darn gold trim I liked so much can't go in the microwave LOL. Alas with limited cupboard space and no china cabinet there is no room in the inn. they did not sell today. we shall see if it is meant to be that they go. hugss
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