confessions

Since I started this blog in 2008, one of my most proud accomplishments was my organization of the household paperwork. I proudly set up my blue filing tub with labels and things were filed dutifully.

I was on top of it.

Need my last Credit rating? no problem

Need that MC statement for those tires I bought? here ya go

The last year everything in my world fell apart, including my filing.

Now bills still got paid, but there was more than one occasion where I was paying off my MC and I accidentally sent the money to my VISA, without realizing until it was too late.

Then I wasn't able to find papers - bills, the house transfer papers - the receipt for the new water heater to prove it was still under warrantee.

The more exhausted and stressful my world became, the worse the paper work organizing was. Things got shoved. On top of the fridge. In drawers.

And then moving when I was so sick did not help matters. Things were shoved in boxes and bags and laundry baskets.

Nor did having two power bills, two water bills, two phone bills for two different houses.

and yes I still get paper bills, and I will until I feel I have things under control.

All this online with different account numbers and different passwords because they have different requirements is overwhelming.

and I didn't have the brain energy to focus long enough to begin, without also feeling overwhelmed. I would say this is a product of the grief and depression.

Slowly, as I start to find me again, I am finding paperwork.

I started by emptying everything out of my filing tub and sorting into piles. Then I shredded the things I no longer need.  The night before last I made new labels for the tubs.

Power bills for each house, water bills, tax, etc

And then I began getting paper sorted and into the correct piles.

With each pile done, I felt more and more in control and could literally feel the stress leave my body bit by bit.

I called DH downstairs to the office to proudly show off the clean desk ( mom's desk) and went through where everything is kept so he knows too.

With each box I slowly unpack I find bits here and there and I stop and get those filed right away so I know where everything is.

Taxes forms are coming in for all of us and for dad's estate and I don't want to misplace a thing.

I may be taking a long time to unpack but it's a fine line juggling what was left here from mom and dad and putting my stuff in where it feels right so that the blend they wanted, eventually happens.

It felt really good to see that sorted and organized bill tub.