Thank you to those of you who messaged or comments asking how I was. It's good to be remembered.
I have been in a state of meh.
Healthwise things aren't good and aren't bad. I have to carefully monitor when I eat in relation to how far I have to drive and will I be able to get to the bathroom. Accidents still happen.
I give everything I have in my power supply to work and come home and literally sleep til morning. I knew that was what was happening but didnt' really REALIZE it, if that makes sense. There's been a lot of soul searching on "can I do this for 8 more years of work" or "Do I want to?" I am missing out of life but then again one does need an income and benefits. The students aren't suffering. I really do give it all there.
I finally met with the neurologist to go over the MRI results from the summer and find out what the small 'anomaly' is. Know what it is? nothing. zip. nada. The person who read it (to get my cleared for my infusion drug) did not know how to properly read them. The neuro had been on 2 weeks holidays then. He said I am fine. No lesions or growths or clots. I asked him if the tests that had been done would show if I had MS. He said absolutely and I am clear. He even went on to say that this new drug I am on for colitis is very powerful and is also a sister to a new drug coming out for MS so in his words I am 'doubly protected'.
Very good news. A wasted trip to the city. But very good news.
I have a meeting in a couple weeks with our professional board to go over options. What does long term leave look like? Do I qualify? How does it affect pension? What kind of documents do I need? etc.
It would just be so much easier if I felt better.
My father isnt' great. His heart is having troubles and he had to have a urinary track surgery delayed as his heart wasn't strong enough.
Sister 3 isnt' great. Her struggles with mental illness are incredibly difficult and her husband has been off work the past few weeks as we are concerned about her being left alone. Tough conversations there.
Sister 1 with MS is experiencing her "I am not at the lake" blues. The lake is so liberating for her. She can get on her scooter and go visit all kinds of people. She is much more limited at home. A lot more energy expended to get to garage to vehicle to go somewhere. I am not sure how much longer she will be driving.
You know.....things like that :-)
Thank you all for caring.
